First of thank you for even reading this. I am writing this not only to help motivate me throughout my journey, but hopefully motivate some other people to start a life change. I know it is very cliche to start a "life change" around the New Year; however, this was very different for me. It started back in September around my beautiful daughter's 6th birthday, we had family photographs made. We used the same wonderful photographer we always seem to use, and as always she delivered amazing photos. The only problem I had with them was me. I looked so fat. I am the biggest I have ever been in my life, and that includes two pregnancies. What really upsets me about the pictures is I thought I looked so cute. I had a great dress, amazing shoes, had good hair that day...but my size just ate every bit of that up. I got the pictures back, and cried for a good hour. I still have not let anyone see those pictures. That's how ashamed I am.
That started a downward spiral of depression. The fall is so busy for my family, yet there are so many painful things we have to get through. For those of you who don't know we lost my sister in December 2009. Her birthday was October 17th, and she past away two months later exactly.Throughout all of the sad times the one thing I have learned is that horrible and tragic things happen to you, and you can't change that. However, you can choose how you react to the situation. That is where my problem lies. I react by eating. I've seem to become progressively bigger over stressful times, as I am sure many of you have. But, I am doing my best to change that. I don't want to live this way, and something had to be done. I came to the point where enough was enough. That's where my journey begins...
I have one of the best friends one can have. We have been best friends for 11 years. We have been through ups and downs and everything in between. We have talked about our concerns of being overweight off and on for those 11 years. Finally, we decided that this was the last year we were going to be fat. We went and joined the gym on December 30, 2011. We worked out for 20 minutes that day, and felt so accomplished (Ha!). That following Monday we worked out with a personal trainer. Let me tell you that trainer kicked our ass! We were sore for a whole week. We laughed, we cried, but we made it through it.
It's been almost two weeks since I've joined the gym and stated keeping my calories in check and I'm down 3.8lbs.
This has also been sort of an issue for me. I should be across the moon excited; however, I guess I thought I was Biggest Loser when I ran and jumped up every morning thinking I had at least lost 5lbs. I kept thinking I have busted my butt so hard. I am always the fattest girl in any of the classes we take, and I shake my fat happily. I also thought my diet had completely changed I should see huge numbers on the scale, and was thoroughly disappointed. I had to make myself realize that I definitely did not put this weight on overnight, and it's MOST definitely not coming off overnight.
I am on my way to be a healthier version of me. I need this for me. Yes, I want my children to grow up and be healthy, but when it comes down to it, I need this for me. As a mother of two that works, I don't get to do a lot of things for me. And, I'm taking the time to be selfish and do something for me.
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